Saturday, March 25, 2023

The best news about Ghosts and Gold!

This past Thursday I received the best news I’ve ever heard regarding my book, Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch. It was a few lines in an email to me:

“I want you to know that we did place the initial order of 100 books. You should also know that part of this order was and is used as gifts to employees and that we still present them to new employees to read. G&G is a valuable part of orientation…the Interim Director is reading it now.”


I cannot express the deep joy my knowing this has given to me. After Maxine and I were there last summer, I knew someone had ordered 100 wholesale copies. Ghost Ranch was my best guess…but 100 copies to sell in the Trading Post? I did not understand.


Now I know why the ranch ordered so many copies and how it has been using my little book to educate and inspire its employees.


As you see from the quote, Ghost Ranch is in a period of transition. Clearly, someone in the former administration made the decision to give my book to the ranch employees, but I was not told about it. (The Valley of Shining Stone does not easily give up its mysteries!) Now I hope incoming leadership will open lines of communication with me so that together we can find ways to use the book to introduce Ghost Ranch to many others. That is the main reason I wrote it.


Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch is 100% my gift to Ghost Ranch. Thursday I learned it has accepted that gift, and I am profoundly grateful.

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Our thin place


Northern New Mexico’s Ghost Ranch is a “thin place.” I know, because I’ve been met there.

Thin places, it is said, are places on earth where earth and heaven open to one another and even meet. They offer a readily-accessible pathway for communication between our time-bound creation and the eternal realm of origins and destinies. Those who visit earth’s thin places can, when they set their minds and hearts to it, experience a palpable sense of divinity in their here and now.

At 6,600 feet above sea level, Ghost Ranch ought to be such place just by virtue of its altitude. But Ghost Ranch, a Presbyterian-related retreat and education center about 60 miles northwest of Santa Fe, earns its thin place standing because of the way it nestles in a stream-fed valley surrounded on three sides by towering red and gold cliffs.

I have visited Ghost Ranch several times over the years. In 2022, after two summers when the ranch was virtually closed by COVID, my wife and I arrived there on Sunday, July 3, for five days of the annual Family Week. We were the only representatives of our family that week, but we trusted we would become family with the people we would soon meet.

That afternoon we asked someone on the ranch staff if Willie Picaro was ever around. Willie had guided Maxine and me on a couple of week-long “Hiking Ghost Ranch and Northern New Mexico” expeditions several years before, but was now retired and living in nearby Abiquiu. The person I asked knew Willie, but hadn’t seen him for some time. (I had actually run into Willie in the dining room the last time we had been here, so something told me it could happen again.)

Willie is a wiry, stereotypical New Jersey guy, still sounding like a New Jerseyan despite his decades in New Mexico. Short of stature, tough as the desert, with bright eyes and a ready grin, Willie is an inveterate Yankees’ fan with overflowing heart. He is always eager to share any piece of his huge store of knowledge about Ghost Ranch and northern New Mexico with anyone he meets.

After dinner at orientation, the nurse reminded us to keep hydrated and avoid rattle snakes—standard stuff. We did not catch her name, but her relaxed manner and ready smile assured us we could go to her if and when we needed to. We expected we would get to know her casually during the week, not as patients. But it was comforting to know the nurse’s trailer, flying the red cross flag, was parked within sight of our room.

Monday was the Fourth of July. Ghost Ranch traditionally celebrates the birth of our nation with a short, home-grown, very fun parade. Kids and adults, guests and staff, work together to decorate golf carts and other vehicles, from which candy is thrown to the waiting spectators. The whole parade takes about ten minutes, round trip.

Early that afternoon, a couple of hours before the parade, Maxine and I were sitting on the veranda in front of the Welcome Center—Georgia O’Keeffe’s beloved mesa, Pedernal, in the distance—when I glanced up and saw Willie walk by. I called out, “Willie.” He turned and looked at us. “I know you, but I can’t remember your names,” Willie confessed unapologetically. When we said “Dean and Maxine” he knew right away who we were. We reconnected quickly, recalling past times and talking about the ranch currently as he saw it.

But why was Willie at Ghost Ranch today, and a bit dressed up at that? Because Paul Fogg, the ranch’s Executive Director, had asked him to drive a beautiful, sky-blue,’50’s-era Chevy pickup in the parade. (Surely Willie wasn’t the only person around who knew how to drive a stick?)

In a few minutes Paul came up the steps, and the two of them quickly walked together into the building behind us. I decided to give Willie a copy of my book, Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch, later that afternoon, after the parade.

Back at our cabin, around 3:30 p.m., I stepped out to our porch to sense what the weather was going be like for the parade. It had been unusually cool and wet at the ranch the last few days. I happened to look to my left toward the nurse’s trailer, and there was Willie, standing down on the ground, talking with the nurse up on the wooden platform that served as a kind of porch for the trailer. I went back inside, found a copy of my book, and inscribed it to Willie. I would take it to him now.

As I approached is was clear that Willie and the nurse knew each other. I did not want to interrupt them for more than a moment, so I just tried, as unobtrusively  as I could, to hand him the book. But even chance meetings at Ghost Ranch hardly ever end quickly. There’s always something more to be said.

Willie opened the book, saw the inscription, and thanked me. The nurse expressed interest in the book. She had not seen it. And then something was said by someone—I don’t remember what—that forged an intimate new connection between the three of us: Nurse Jean Mason was a niece of my seminary classmate and close friend, Don Mason. And Willie had known Don and Donna Mason very well; they were frequent volunteers and leaders at the ranch.

In 2009, Don had asked Willie to join him on a long and challenging hike along the mesas that surround the ranch. Unfortunately, and contrary to widely-accepted practice, Don decided to attempt the hike alone.

Don fell to his death on that hike, high above the ranch, above the Kitchen Mesa trail. Willie had helped find his body the next morning, and carry it back down to the ranch on a litter.

Thirteen years later, Willie expressed profound grief and deep regret that he’d turned down Don’s invitation. After a moment’s silence, I asked Willie to give the book back to me. I showed Jean where I’d written about Don’s death. Her eyes glistened at the memory and mention of her uncle. She said she’d go at once to the Trading Post and buy the one copy they had left, for I had no more with me to give to her.

In our collective experience of Ghost Ranch’s majesty and mystery, the three of us were bound together with Don and his tragic death in an eternal moment, standing in a thin place.

That was Monday. Tuesday I decided to sign up for Wednesday evening’s “talent night.” After all, writing is a talent. I would read the opening paragraphs of Ghosts and Gold and invite people to consider getting their own copies—all proceeds to Ghost Ranch, none to me. 

But Tuesday I woke up not feeling well. Maxine had been congested for 24 hours, but now I was, too, with achy-ness thrown in. Something wasn’t right with my body. I self-tested for COVID at noon, and was negative.

Wednesday morning I felt worse, and self-tested again before breakfast. This time, positive. Maxine tested the same. We both had COVID.

We knew we would have to leave the ranch. I felt like Hagar and Ishmael being banished into the wilderness by Abraham.

I walked to the nurse’s trailer, sure Jean would be at breakfast. She did not respond to my knock on the door. A couple of summer college staff people walked by on their way to breakfast, and I asked them to find Jean. It was a selfish request, because I could have waited for her to finish breakfast. I was overcome by uncertainty about what we would do.

When Jean came out, I told her we had tested positive. She expressed genuine concern, but made sure we knew we’d have to leave. She told me to go back to our room and wait for her to come to assess our situation. I urged her to finish her interrupted breakfast.

In a short time she came to us, bringing us much-appreciated breakfasts. She did all she could to prepare us to leave, including directing us to the Emergency Department at the Espanola Hospital, some 35 miles away. We asked her to cancel our reservations for the Georgia O’Keeffe tour that afternoon.

Then I remembered I’d signed up to share my talent that evening. Would Jean take my name off that list, please? And she said, “No. I’ll read from your book for you, and I will tell people about it and what it means to me and to the ranch. And I will do the same next week as well.”

Everything Nurse Jean Mason did for us that morning was done with calm and compassionate competence, as if, maybe she was doing it for Don. When I expressed concern that we’d spread COVID to others, she quietly reassured us that we had done what needed to do when we knew we needed to do it. As it turned out, at the end of the week Jean emailed me that no other guests had reported COVID cases.

In thin places heaven and earth meet, and so humans meet humans as well. It’s all part of the breaking down of barriers, even of barriers between strangers who have just met, or who have known each other for years. Thin places are about being open and receptive to what and who is around you, and not denying anyone a relationship with you.

I have long known that Ghost Ranch is a thin place. I had experienced it as such before, but never as profoundly in that first week of July, 2022. Thanks be to God!


Monday, December 20, 2021

In the Ghost Ranch Trading Post!

 

Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch is now displayed on a shelf in the Trading Post at Ghost Ranch. It may have been there earlier, but today Ghost Ranch Executive Director Paul Fogg sent me this picture that proves it. I am grateful.

Fortunately, you do not have to travel to northern New Mexico to get your own copy. I am sure they'd be happy to sell you one. But you can also get it at the usual online sites and at Bookshop.com, which supports independent book stores, and which I recommend.

It's a pretty good read, if I do say so myself.

Sunday, February 21, 2021

On my way back to Ghost Ranch

Tomorrow I will return in spirit to Ghost Ranch as I begin a five-day Zoomed writing workshop with Anita Skeen. What We Talk about When We Talk About Writing will involve ten of us and Anita in reading, in writing, in reading about writing, and in sharing.

I am eager to learn all Anita has to offer, and I look forward to meeting and learning from and with my workshop mates. She has set forth a fairly challenging schedule of things to read and discuss and do, as close to a real class syllabus as I have faced for decades. I hope these old eyes and this old brain can take it.


Our first assignment has been to read poems recited at the Kennedy, Carter, Clinton, Obama, and Biden inaugurations. (Carter’s was actually read at the Inaugural Gala the night before.)


Anita only assigned the poems of Democratic presidents, which seemed unnecessarily partisan. So I checked it out and discovered that since JFK started the Inaugural poem practice, only Democratic presidents have programmed them. Here’s yet another divide for us to overcome: Democrats like poetry, Republicans don’t. (I tried for a moment to imagine what a poem appropriate for former President Trump might sound like, but just couldn’t find the words.)


Of course, we will not actually be at Ghost Ranch, and all the Zooming in the world will not compensate for that loss. If we were there, I fear I would discover they are hiding Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch. (Tentative sequel title: Ghosted by Ghost Ranch.) Maybe it's better I won't be there.


Nevertheless, starting tomorrow: 3 hours a day for 5 days, plus three 1 and 1/2-hour extra sessions, all distanced. But as close to my heart as Ghost Ranch itself, which I still love.


Sunday, November 22, 2020

Ghost Ranch Story for Christmas Giving?

I have not updated about Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch recently because I haven’t had much to say. Sales are still slow, although a few miraculously happen here and there.

Should I accept a talented friend’s offer to help me develop a website, at little or no cost to me? They say that’s a good way to attract attention and maybe sales. I have never been very good at intentionally attracting attention to myself, perhaps because my height does that for me fairly automatically. But my height doesn’t help in getting my book sold. Besides, I am not so tall as I used to be.


I did place small classified ads in Presbyterians Today and Presbyterian Outlook just in time for holiday gifting. We will see. Advertising costs, and since I am taking no profits from any sales, I absorb all costs myself…well, Maxine and I absorb them ourselves, to be perfectly honest.


I sent my first gift from sales to Ghost Ranch. I was happy to do that, although I must say communication with the ranch about my book has been a challenge. (Communication with Ghost Ranch about almost anything is famously difficult.) I have been assured that copies of Ghosts and Gold are now on the shelves of the Trading Post, and am waiting to see if they decide to publicize it. I hope they do, since there are few visitors there these days, but I can only wait and see. I have no idea when I will be able to go there again, which is very distressing. I love the place.


Something caused me to check with online retailers to make sure Ghosts and Gold is still available to a worldwide readership. bookshop.org and Barnes and Noble are carrying it, as is Amazon. The first source is my preference because sales through it support local independent book stores. That’s very good. But honesty compels me to tell you that Amazon has cut the price substantially, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME! IMAGINE!


Amazon also reveals that Ghosts and Gold has been numerically reviewed by two readers, one of whom gave it a 5, and the other, a 1, resulting in an average rating of 3. Which is…average.


I am not sure what to make of that, except that you might want to consider giving a pretty good book about ghosts in a desert as a holiday gift. What could be more representative of 2020?


Thanks in advance.

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Sales are slow and slower…

Not unexpectedly, sales of the paperback edition of Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch slowed considerably after the first month’s burst. I think I’ve pretty well run through my friends and family, and that’s okay. I understand that. I am grateful to everyone who bought it, and hope you enjoyed it.

(I do not know about the sales of e-books. The printer I worked with does not get information on those sales, so I have to wait for the likes of Amazon and Barnes and Noble to tell me, and that may take weeks.)

Of course, my greatest prospect for sales seems to me lie in being able to get it on the shelves of the Ghost Ranch Trading Post, and in the ranch itself promoting it a bit. This is a niche book, aimed at the tourist trade, at people who want a souvenir of their visit to the ranch for themselves or to share with others.

I could not have chosen a worse time to publish Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch. There is no regular programming at Ghost Ranch this summer, and only a hope that it will resume in the fall. The ranch is open for tours, trial rides, and day visitors…if you are a New Mexico resident or an out-of-state visitor who has quarantined for 14 days. The effectively kills my market.

I hope, for my book’s sake, and even more for Ghost Ranch’s sake, that we can move beyond this most difficult time soon.

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Progress Report

I am grateful to everyone who has purchased a copy of Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch. At this point I am sure most of those purchases have been made by friends, but hope the book might gain some traction with others in time. My marketing budget is tiny, so if you’ve read it and liked it, please recommend it to someone else who might appreciate it.

Barnes and Noble has it available as a NOOK book, but so far the e-version is not available on Amazon. I will check it again in a few days and see if it’s there; if not, I will have to figure it out. bookshop.org, which supports indy book stores, is offering a discount on the purchase price, so please be sure to check there if you want a hard copy.

I’ve been aware of strange pricing options on Amazon, and they’ve hit my book. Amazon itself offers it new for its asking price ($11.99), but if you want you can buy it “used (nearly new)” from a site called “californiabooks” for about $28. What is that about? Do they sell lots of books that way? Does the author/publisher get more money when they do? Any explanations for that phenomenon?

Finally, a friend, whose husband is now receiving palliative care, wrote to me: “Your book has provided much needed moments of wonderful memories as I sit with (him) and makes me want to return at the first opportunity. Well done!”

That may be the most moving “review” Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch will ever receive. I am very grateful.

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Vulnerable!

Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch will be available one week from today, May 19. It may be pre-ordered now on Amazon and elsewhere, and some dear friends have told me they’ve placed orders. (Thank you!)

I am very excited and very nervous, as I am sure all authors, particularly first-time-being-published authors, must be.

It would probably help if I were not self-publishing Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch. That would mean that someone else thought it was worth publishing. But anyone can self-publish, and almost anyone has. Though I have asked for, paid for, and received wonderful help along the way, and have received some deeply-appreciated encouragement, the book’s words and photographs are mine alone. The book stops here.

I am excited because I am extremely pleased with how the book looks. I am anxious because I know you can’t judge a book by its cover…and judgment can go every which way.

I am excited because something with my name on it is out there in the world for people to purchase. I am nervous because people are and will be (I trust) spending their hard-earned money to buy a thing for which they have at least modest expectations, which this book may or may not fulfill. And I have always had difficulty dealing with the possibility that I might disappoint others’ expectations of me.

In putting a book on the market, I am asking people to trust me. To trust that they will find it worth their investments of money and of time. To trust they will find it at least interesting if not moving, and that through it they may imagine and even feel something new to their experience. Being human, I hope for a few nice comments/reviews. Being human, I hope I’ve sufficiently steeled myself for those that may not be so nice. Publishing a book makes me feel incredibly vulnerable.

But here’s the deal: this is the book about Ghost Ranch that I want to write and publish. Every word and every photo says, this is Dean Myers’s story of Ghost Ranch. No matter how it fares in the world, it is a story I want to tell, told the way I want to tell it. This certainty makes any sense of being vulnerable worth it.

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

A gift to the giver

Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch is not primarily about me or what I have done at Ghost Ranch. It is about Ghost Ranch itself, as I have experienced and come to know it personally. It is, I suppose, an example of creative nonfiction, that writing genre that channels factual information through an admittedly subjective lens.

I took part in my first writing workshop at Ghost Ranch (or anywhere else, for that matter) in the spring of 1999, during one week of a greatly-appreciated three-month sabbatical from my pastoral responsibilities at the Church of the Western Reserve. Ina Hughes was our group’s convener and mentor. I could not have chosen a better person than Ina to lead a workshop in creative nonfiction.

That week changed my life in many ways. After years of writing to satisfy the expectations others — teachers, congregations, God (?) — I was suddenly freed-up to write to fulfill my own expectations. Ina and the class encouraged me to think I might have some aptitude for such writing. I’ve worked at developing that aptitude, though not consistently.

Several years ago I began to write short stories. I started my first, The Owl, at another writing festival at Ghost Ranch, I think in 2013. Writing workshops I’ve done closer to home have all been helpful…but none like the ones at Ghost Ranch’s writing festivals, because of the place, because of the people.

Thus, the emotional drive behind Ghosts and Gold. Ghost Ranch has given me so much, and I want to return something to it. That is why I will give all of the net proceeds of the book’s sale to the ranch. (I am absorbing all costs associated with getting it edited, designed, and printed.) I do not expect my monetary gift to amount to much, but maybe the book will encourage people to come to Ghost Ranch themselves. That may be worth far more.

Right now, Ghost Ranch, like so many other places, is closed to the public. They are hoping to be able to offer at least a partial summer schedule. It is likely to be a difficult year for the ranch in almost every way, and it is not the kind of summer for introducing Ghosts and Gold I had envisioned. But maybe it will help fill a need for those who love the ranch and will not be able to visit it in person in 2020. Maybe the timing is better than I’d hoped.

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Which way is up?

On my first visit to Ghost Ranch in 1984, my sense of direction there got completely turned around, and I have never gotten over it. Having been raised in the great plains, tamed as they are by their enormous mile-square grid of roads, I almost always was sure which way was north. But that doesn’t work so well in places like Ghost Ranch (or Pittsburgh, where I lived for 15 years). No such grid of roads could discipline such locales.

I could blame my confusion on the map they give you when you arrive. Because, on that map, instead of up being north, up is west. Which may explain why I cannot get over the feeling that, when I stand on the front porch of the dining hall, I am facing northwest. But I am not: I am facing southwest. No matter how often I turn that map a quarter-turn so up is north, I cannot shake my original certainty about direction. Even knowing that the rising sun shines on Chimney Rock and the setting sun illuminates Kitchen Mesa does not shake my conviction.

Facts are stubborn things. But in this case, not stubborn enough to convince me which way is north at Ghost Ranch. If I get some directions wrong in Ghosts and Gold, it’s not because I didn’t try to get them right. It’s so darned hard to get something right once you’ve got it wrong. And if you do finally realize your mistake, you tend to want to blame someone else for your having made it. It’s the map’s fault! I am not the only person to realize all of these painful truths, am I?

Speaking of mistakes, there were three mistakes in the proof copy, tiny ones. Three little words—one word missing, two just plain wrong. I found two of them, and Maxine found one. No big deal, but I am getting them fixed. The finished product will be too nice to publish it knowing there are mistakes in it that I knew about ahead of time.

Friday, April 17, 2020

When it all started

When did my passion for Ghost Ranch begin?

In a way, it began before I ever stepped foot there when, in 1964, I made my first trip to the American Southwest. For two weeks that summer, a group of us from Coe College worked at and around the Presbyterian Mission at Ganado, Arizona. We did not stop at Ghost Ranch. But something about the southwest’s landscape both appealed to me and repelled me, given my green-fields-of-Iowa upbringing. I knew I would one day return to that part of the world.

Twenty years later, I accompanied the senior high youth of the First Presbyterian Church of Sterling, Illinois, on a service project at Ghost Ranch. I was their pastor. I have pictures of us loading stones into the bed of a pickup, I believe to be used to line the drainage swale that runs between the ranch parking lot and administration buildings. We also worked in the garden. And we hiked some of the trails. A death in my family resulted in my leaving early, but I was hooked.

Ten years after that, I convinced our family it was time for us to make our own journey to Ghost Ranch. The four of us—Maxine, Elizabeth (17), Rebecca (14), and myself—piled into our Plymouth minivan for a three-day drive from northeast Ohio to northern New Mexico, squeezing in a little sight-seeing along the way. The excitement and anxiety grew as we came closer to our destination: What it would really be like at that place? How would be be housed? Would I pay a high price for forcing Ghost Ranch upon the rest of them for our family vacation?

It began badly, stoking my worst fears. We were assigned a room in Corral Block. One room. Linoleum floor. Two bunk beds. Ancient dresser (maybe there were two). A wooden chair (or two). Single light hanging from the middle of the ceiling. Fine sand everywhere. And, of course, a communal bath to serve all of Corral Block, out the door and who knows how many steps from our room.

I feared for my life. I went back to registration and asked if there were any other accommodations available for a couple with two teen-aged daughters. Nope. I returned with the bad news and we unpacked what we could and prepared for our first walk to the dining hall. It was a rough night.

But here’s the magic—or the spirit—of Ghost Ranch. Twenty-four hours later, no one cared about where we were lodged. We’d all enjoyed one of the best days of our lives, and were captivated by Ghost Ranch and all it promised us. We’d begun to make new friends, been awed by the surroundings, challenged by the programs we were in, and we’d hardly seen each other for the entire day, which was pretty great after three days of minivan togetherness. At the end of the week, it was hard to leave Ghost Ranch.

That week was unique bonding experience for us all, and we have recalled it many times. That summer of 1994, Ghost Ranch became a integral part of who we are as individuals and as a family.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Ghosts and Gold goes to press



This has been the week -- this holy, COVID-quarantined week -- that my book, Ghosts and Gold: My Story of Ghost Ranch, went to press. I have ordered the first copy for myself so I can review it.

It's been a long journey about a place that is from where I live, yet close to my heart. No small part of that journey has involved learning how to self-publish. Fortunately, I've received good and willing help every step of the way. 

The purpose of this blog is to tell you about the book and all that's gone into it, why I've invested so much of myself (and my substance) in it, and, when the time is right, to encourage you to get your very own copy.

I tried to name this blog simply ghostsandgold, but that name is not available. Another blog begins with those words; its last entry was 2012, and it had one follower. I hope I keep up a little better than that, but readers of my other blog know my posts are not very regular. But I am motivated for this one!

For now: welcome to mystoryofghostranch